100 Spiritshipping drabbles
by SugarPlumsUnited
Summary: Drabbles containing the one and only Spiritshipping. Hope you guys/gals enjoy them. There's also some Darkspiritshipping thrown in and I just hope you like them.
1. X

I haven't updated in ages because stuff had been happening so I've written this quickly and will post my next chapter of Darkworld tonight or tomorrow.

**1. Pick a character, pairing, or fandom you like.****  
><strong>**2. Turn on your music player and put it on random/shuffle.****  
><strong>**3. Write a drabble related to each song that plays. You only have the time frame of the song to finish the drabble; you start when the song starts, and stop when it's over. No lingering afterwards!****  
><strong>**4. Do ten of these, then post them.**

**Spiritshipping of course, music, check. Drabble, starting now.**

1)Misunderstood –Dream Theater (**Johan)**

I stood there all by myself, the cool winds whipped around me but I couldn't leave just yet. I'd been waiting for this moment for too long and I didn't know how I would feel if he didn't come. He was already an hour late and snow was beginning to fall. I sighed, will myself not to cry; I knew that I couldn't expect him to drop his 'superhero' life just for me.

Just as I was about to leave I felt a hand on my shoulder. "I thought you wouldn't come," I said.

"I promised, didn't I?" he said as more of a statement than a question.

"No I just thought that you'd be too busy, that I wasn't important enough for you anymore."

Judai shook his head and placed a chaste kiss on my lips. "I could never abandon you. I not perfect but I hope that I am enough for you."

All I could to was smile as I wrapped my arms tightly around him.

2)Walking in The Rain – The Valves. **(Judai) **

I found out that Manjoume had been cheating on me, I had thought that he liked me for who I was but it turned out that he only dated me in the first place because someone had broken up with him and I was the rebound. I decided from this point on that I wouldn't let anything like this happen again, my heart was already damaged and I didn't want it to get worse.

It had been three years and I had kept my promise, a few people had asked me out but I couldn't forget about him and I always politely turned them down. I rushed to my afternoon class hoping that I wouldn't be late as rain started to trickle down. The sun refracted through the rain and created a rainbow, I gasped, not because it looked so beautiful but because the boy in front of it did. I felt the need to get to know him better and once I did who know what would happen in the future?

3)Lost- Visions of Atlantis. **(Could really be either but I'm going to say Judai)**

I woke up in a sweat caused by a horrible dream. Clutching at the empty sheets beside me I realised that the dream had in fact been a memory. Getting up I went to the kitchen to grab a drink of water and the face that haunted my dreams was everywhere I went. My mind was playing tricks on me, hoping to keep me sane by letting me live in old memories, memories with you in it but it was actually making me worse.

I had to let you go though for the life of me I didn't want to. You'd told me to live on but I instead had lived in the past. With a new determination I decided to continue my life, never forgetting you but instead holding you in my heart, making you proud until the day I died and joined you.

4)Mr. Blue Sky- Electric Light Orchestra. **(Johan)**

The sun was shining is the sky not a rain cloud in sight. With a bounce in my step I grabbed my swimming gear and texted Judai to meet outside his house because we were going to the beach; it would be the first time we've been able to go since the summer holidays had began. I asked my mum if I could borrow the car and with no reservations she let me, it was the perk to getting good marks at school.

Minutes later I was waiting patiently outside Judai's house, who for once wasn't sleeping in, personally I think it was because school wasn't on. He came out quickly and we drove to the beach, only him and I none of our other friends. We played in the water after lying in the beating sun; the cool water was a pleasant shock to the system. It didn't seem as though we'd been there that long but before we knew it the sun was setting it the sky. We got out of the water and as I turned to see the scenery, the sight of Judai against the sunset was breathtaking. Before I knew it I found my lips on his and was pleasantly surprised when he in turn began to kiss me back.

5)The Count of Tuscany- Dreamtheater (just my luck another Dream theatre song and this one's going to be long due to it being a 19minute song...) **(Judai)**

I love travelling, I'd been around most of the world and my journeys had managed to get me to some foreign road in Tuscany and I was thoroughly lost and hungry. Standing on the side of the road I continued to walk, hoping that I'd be able to hitch a ride though I doubted that this far from civilisation I would somehow get a lift. It was going to be dark soon and I was giving up hope until I saw an old styled black car come up the long and windy road. With one hand I crossed my finger and with the other I held out my thumb begging the gods that I would be lucky.

My prayers were answered when a strange bluenette man, pulled over telling me to get in. He asked me where I wanted to go but since I had no idea he offered to take me to his home to stay the night and drop me off in a town tomorrow when he went to get groceries. With great joy I accepted, we talked along the way to his house and I could almost feel myself being attached to him, Johan. When we arrived, it turned out that that he didn't merely live in a house but more like a mansion.

We were greeted by another man that looked exactly the same as Johan except his hair was darker and his eyes were orange instead of green. As Johan showed me around I learnt that his brother's name was Jehu and a character from a book had been based on him...the character was a cannibal curator...not exactly good news.

Johan told me history of what had happened in the castle like how a long time ago, in times of war soldiers used to hide in barrels full of wine, never to escape and ended up dying there. He then took me down to the cellar and offered me a glass of wine, many older than me by hundreds of years. I hurriedly rejected his offer, not forgetting the story. In the light the friendly man that I met on the road suddenly seem menacing and I couldn't help but feel a little frightened for my life; that down in this cellar would be the last place I was alive. I didn't know what I had done to deserve this.

"Please don't hurt me; it's just a circumstance that I'm here."

It seemed as though he recognised the fear in my eyes and sighed sadly. "You do realise that none of these stories are real right."

I nodded my head quickly, "Yeah of course," I replied, my voice shaking giving me away

"It's just how we live in this castle and as the Count of Tuscany I have to hold up the traditions, it's just how we live here. I guess that's why we don't get many visitors out here," He looked down his bangs covering his face, "I understand if you would like to leave."

I caressed his cheek bringing his head up so he would look me in the eyes. "No, I'll stay, if you'll still have me, of course?"

A smile brightened his face and I couldn't help but smile back, it was contagious. He kissed me on the cheek, whispering in my ear a thank you and I made a promise to myself that I would try to always keep in contact with him. I didn't want him to ever feel lonely again, not if I could help it.

6)Reach out (And Regret) –Pain (I don't know how I'm going to do this one...) **(Johan)**

I had seen the world for what it really was and it wasn't a nice place. The world that I grew up in my child hood was different to the real world. I was minding my own business and just because I sported rainbow shoelaces someone thought that it was their right to go a trip me up and be nasty. I could almost hear my father's voice in my head saying, 'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.' Sadly I didn't believe in that anymore.

I curled my hands into a fist as brought them but then a duo coloured brunette stood in my way and said, "It's not worth it, just let it go."

His big brown eyes looked at me pleadingly and I couldn't help but notice that he was sporting a rainbow coloured charm on his necklace. I smiled at his childish innocence and said, "Only if you go on a date with me."

He said yes...

7)Energize Me- After Forever. **(Johan)**

We were only friends but I was sure that it would have been impossible for him not to see the passion burning between us, other could see it but then sometimes Judai was really just that dense. Even at his simple friendly touches I felt a powerful shock travel through my body and into my heart making it both stop and start at the same time.

As time went by the flame didn't wane but just continued to grow stronger and eventually I couldn't take it anymore. In the middle of class Judai was peaking at my work and I said, "I love you," loudly, too loudly and with a blush on his face he returned the sentiments.

Instead of getting into trouble I heard the teacher say "Finally." And was glad that finally had come.

8)Ultimate Sacrifice- Circus Maximus (One of my favourites.) **(Judai)**

I had come out on the other end of something that I wanted to forget but knew I couldn't. I didn't know what had initially brought me to the dark abyss that was insanity but I knew one of the things that brought me back, a bluenette who I had never learnt the name of. The sad thing about it was that I was sure that he was only a figment of my dreams, from when I tried to end it all.

I had to stay at the hospital, in the mental ward, a little longer for a final analysis of my psyche though really I wanted to go home. I had to do all these different mental exercise with my psychiatrist and even on the first day he said I didn't have much longer till I could go home. Two weeks into it while eating lunch with the others a person diagnosed with anorexia collapsed onto the ground, doctors were called in and then I recognised one of them, the man from my dream, the one I had fallen for even though I hadn't yet met him.

Only a week later my psychiatrist said I was fit to go and so I went straight to the other side of the hospital and asked the receptionist if she could tell me where I could find the bluenette that had saved both my physical body and my mind. She said she couldn't give out that information but to my luck the man walked out obviously ready to go home. I went to him and gave him a hug. "Thank you," I said, tears pooling in my eyes.

He hugged me back and for a while we just stood there in each other's arms. I couldn't have been happier.

9)Bullet for your Gun- Black river Drive. (The lead singer's really nice) **(Johan)**

_Dear Judai._

_It wasn't my fault what had happened in the past but I was there at the wrong place at the wrong time and became the easy scapegoat but then you happened to see through their lies, you were the only one who didn't persecute me in the town where no one went near me in fear of being dragged down to my level. _

_You tried to get to know me and though it took a lot of persuasion on your part you managed to get close to me. I fell in love with you and you fell in love with me but then realisation dawned on me, I was nothing compared to the perfection that was you and with my imperfection I was tainting you. _

_I'm sorry that I can't continue to hurt you so it'd be best if we ended it now. _

A hand grabbed mine not letting me sign my name. "Johan you're perfect to me, once we leave school we can run away together. Just be with me because without you I'd be lost..."

Speechless I dropped my pen; maybe love would win in this case...

10) Goodbye Apathy- One Republic (I can't believe I've had no Kamelot or Nightwish in here, but then I guess it was all luck...or unluck...)

He was out of my league; my friendship circle didn't met his buy miles. Yet every time we locked eyes in the corridor I found it harder to breathe, lost my train of thought and quite a few times I accidently made an idiot by walking into a door. His friends laughed but he didn't. Johan Anderson was the bright eyed sporting and academic star of our school, the one who would probably never talk to me, the weird gay kid.

The ball was coming up but I didn't expect to get a date, my school may not have been known as homophobic but it didn't give the sterling impression for being a gay loving school. I went with my friend Shou and his boyfriend Manjoume, who came from another school. I watched the happy couples dancing and wished for once I could be out there too.

I also kept an eye on Johan but he didn't dance either, I saw him sigh and walk over to me. "Hey do you want to dance?"

With his bright green eyes on me how could I ever say no?

**(Hope that it was okay, the songs may be unheard of but I love them. Review and if you want take up the challenge.)**


	2. XX

**I felt like writing more because listening to music is my life next to writing. There may be some Dark Spiritshipping ones not all my music's happy enough to be Spiritshipping. This'll stay complete because really I'd know if I'll do more or not...**

11)Elegy- Leaves Eyes **(Johan)**

The day had come for his funeral, my best friends and secret love, Judai Yuki's. He had been in a car collision, it was no accident. Someone had cut his brakes. He had been getting death threats for some time but he had never really thought much about it.

In his will he'd wished that I could say his eulogy but thinking about it I found something better. Judai used to love hearing me sing and so I was going to tell him all the things I failed to say while he was still alive through a elegy. I stood up in front of all his friends on a cloudy day and began singing.

Once I finished I swear the clouds dissipated and I felt him smiling down at me.

12)Sleeping Sun – Nightwish **(Judai)**

My friend Johan and I were having a sleepover at his Nana's house. She was a great cook and didn't mind us snacking in the lounge and making a bit of a ruckus.

But eventually we grew tired and quietly fell asleep on the couch while watching a movie. What felt like moments later I woke up with Johan's arms around me and snuggled in closer to his warm body, once again drifting to sleep to join my best friend and my sun.

13)The Zodiac- Kamelot (I write way faster with paper and a pencil...) **(Jehu)**

Sometimes I came to Earth to have a bit of fun, collect souls and torment innocent people. Everyone seemed to know to stay away from me but then he came, Haou. He was so kind and gentle; I had never met anyone like him.

Others avoided him too, mainly because he was surly and dark but then those people failed to see beneath that.

One day I decided that I wanted him to be with me forever. When I asked he said no, saying that he had to care for his younger brother Judai. Not really wanting no for an answer I happened across an normal human boy who looked a lot like me and used my powers so he'd care for Judai making it so Haou had no reason to deny me.

Just as I was about to ask a second time, Haou came out and asked if I would stay up on the human realm with him. Seeing no reason to refuse him I accepted happily. The more we spent with each other the more we fell in love. And the funny thing is Judai and that boy I found, Johan, did too.

14) The beginning is the end- Smashing Pumpkins. **(Haou)**

This world was full of trash and the only people there to save said trash was my brother and I. He helped whenever he could but though I did my bit I sometimes wished that the city would burn.

The people down on the street condemned us, saying we were freaks and even for all the times we saved them they still wanted us executed. They thought that I was already dead since I started to wear the same uniform as my brother. I didn't want them to know it was I who was saving their pathetic hides.

I saw a boy with dark teal hair and orange eyes spraying painting over a wanted sigh. 'Haou lives.' I smirked down at the kid but then pigs came from around the corner to arrest him. I suddenly felt the need to save someone, a need I hadn't felt in a while.

15) Without you- Macbeth **(Judai)**

I ran through the darkened streets to the scream, it sounded like Johan's voice by the time I got to him it was too late. Angry I beat up their leader and then the rest of them dispersed. I bent down and cradled him body against mine, blood seeped from his gunshot wound. ""Don't leave me," I begged.

"I won't, I'll always be with you in here," he reached up and weakly patted a blood soaked hand against my chest.

I woke up in a hospital; Johan's had against my heart. "What am I doing here?" I asked confused. Shouldn't our roles be reversed?

"Judai, you were shot and I was so afraid to lose you."

"You won't ever lose me, I'll always be here," I said patting where his heart would be.

16) I see Red – Split Endz **(Johan)**

When people talked about love they talked about a rose tinted glass but mine was different, it was more red.

I remember when I asked Shou why Judai was still in Osiris, Shou told me how his aniki would want it no different. And how on the first day at duel academia when Shou was really depressed about being in the lowest dorm Judai said, "But I really like red, seething flames, boiling blood, it's perfect for a zealous guy like me."

That's when I realised that red was the colour of my love for him.

17) These Words- Natasha Bedingfield **(Judai)**

The school talent competition was coming up and a few days before the day I found that Manjoume had sighed my name up without even telling me. When I asked him why it turned out that he was actually looking out for me saying that he'd hear me singing and thought that I should do it but he knew that I'd be too shy to sign up.

I searched through my playlist finding something to sing to and found 'These Words' by Natasha Bedingfield. Whenever I heard this song I always thought of my best friend Johan. Yes, I was in love with my best friend but I had no idea how to tell him and then I realised that maybe this could be my chance.

Standing on the stage, a guitar in hand and a silent crowd in front of me I began singing and when I got to the chorus I turned to Johan and sang with all my passion, "I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you." He noticed this and I saw him mouthing the words back to me.

18) I walk Beside You- Dream Theater **(Johan)**

Judai almost never frowned, most of the time there would be a smile on his face. Everyone just accepted it as being him normal happy energetic self but then I looked beneath that facade and saw something he tried to keep hidden, sadness. When I confronted Judai and asked what was wrong, he instantly replied that it was nothing. From then on the little signs that would show his true feeling would always change and it would be harder for me to find them.

I went for a walk, thinking about everything but most importantly Judai, I had to let him know that I was there for him but he wouldn't let me in. I heard crying and went to the noise; he was curled up with tears streaming down his face. Going over to him I pulled him into my arms and promised him that I would always be with him, no matter what.

19)Dear God- Avenged Sevenfold **(Judai)**

I was funny, most people in this world asked for someone to live with, to find the one that was their other half and I who had really never thought much about it found my other half, Johan, and yet I left him back with all the other people I loved.

Sometimes I wished that I had stayed back with him instead of going off and trying to find where I fit into the world. Being alone on the road got so lonely. I hoped that Johan was happy without me but I in a way I also hoped that he missed me like I missed him.

Normally I went where my feet were taking me, to those who needed me the most and I found myself back in my home town inside a small cafe with a bluenette serving at the counter. At first it seemed as though he thought I was just an illusion but then I waved and Johan realised that I was really here. He jumped over the counter and ran to me, wrapping his strong arms around my lean waste.

"I've missed you so much," he whispered.

A small smile graced my lips. "I've missed you too."

Right here was where I was meant to be, I couldn't believe I had travelled around the world trying to find my place and in was right here all along.

20) Play My Music- Jonas Brother **(Johan) **_(Yes I know. I need to delete the song)_

I personally think that the most fun you can have on your own becomes twice as fun when you're with your best friend.

Judai and I were watching Camp Rock because it just happened to be on TV when we turned it on. The song 'Play My Music' came on and I began singing, soon Judai joined me. We ended up singing into a hairbrush and doing really weird actions. Dropping the hairbrush I grabbed his hands in my own and began dancing with him like a little kid. Once the song finished we collapsed onto the couch, him landing on top of me. "You know I love you right?" Judai said, puffing.

"Yeah, and I love you too."


	3. XXX

**I've been holding out on updating or putting up anything until Darkworld was finished, and I apologise once more. **

21) Must have done something right- Relient K **(Judai)**

Johan was my best friend, we did everything together and nothing could ever separate us even if it wanted to. I would cross whole worlds just to be with him. Yet as we sat around with our friends I started noticing other things about him, like how his hair frame his face perfectly, how his shirt though it covered everything was slightly see through and subtly showed his body off, I also noticed how his tight pants clung to all the right place.

Eventually I realised what I felt for him but I knew that he was too good for me, I was lucky to even have his friendship. Yet at my seventeenth birthday he approached me and took me away from everyone else, giving me the best present I could ever ask for… his love.

22)Complex: Atlantis – Josh Fix _**(Yes I love Artemis Fowl, what of it?)**_** (Jehu)**

The world was in danger once again and the hero that was meant to save us all was not his self. Haou who used to be bad had changed his ways but they say no one can truly change who they are yet he did or he had at least. But the guilt that he had from everything he did led to the creation of another personality, Judai, a young innocent boy whose world was one of fiction till now. The world was going to die without Haou to save it and if we did somehow manage to pull through in the end then I don't know how I could live without Haou. Judai could never take his place in my heart.

"Oh Haou, just come back," I said, kissing his currently unconscious body on the forehead, "I need you." Even though I would never admit it when he was awake, I truly did.

23)Fatal Design- Entwine **(Judai)**

In this world we all had one little flaw that none of us could ever fix and this one was fatal…our own mortality. I knew all about this, I had been in and out of hospital since I was too young to remember. If someone asked me the nurse's names I could probably tell them, and I knew the floor plan like the back of my hand.

What I had wasn't necessarily fatal but it did have an impact on my life and it meant that at any moment I could die. The one sad thing about hospitals is that the friends you make will eventually go one way or another but that didn't stop me from making them. I saw a new head of hair in the children's lounge and instantly introduced myself finding a feeling deep inside telling me that he was special and I suddenly felt a strong connection to him, what ever happened in the future I wanted to be his friend.

24) Ghost Love Score- Nightwish **(Johan)**

For me when my life ended only did it truly begin. I wasn't ready to die all those years ago and so I was now stranded as a wondering spirit until I could finally be released and brought to peace. The idea of doing that initially wasn't all that daunting until it was my hundredth year and I still hadn't been swept away to the afterlife. I was still going to continue, however long it would take, to find my peace.

Sitting at my favourite play spot as a child I let my eyes wonder over the people and then they stop on a boy who looked like someone I knew when I was still alive. I went over to him and sat next to him knowing he wouldn't be able to see me but then the unimaginable happened and he did.

"Hello," he said, big round chocolate coloured eyes peering into mine.

Curious, I waved my hand in front of his face I asked, "You can see me?"

"Well duh," he replied, "Why wouldn't I be able to?"

Instead of answering I introduced myself and soon after we became friends. He would often come to the park where I started hanging out in order to see him everyday but then one day he suddenly stopped coming and I was losing hope in ever seeing him again.

I had almost given up when a hand touched me on the shoulder and I turned to see him standing beside me but even though he could see me he'd never been able to touch me. "Where have you been?" I asked the first thing that came to my head.

"Well I was sort of stuck after I was in a car accident but I came straight here," he replied, sadness in his smile.

"So you're dead?"

He nodded solemnly and then smiled, "Yeah and I've come to finally take you to the afterlife with me."

With my hand in his we walked into the light.

25) Forever Young- Youth Group **(Judai)**

When I was younger I was asked, "Would you ever want to live forever, staying forever young?" Which I replied with a no, saying how if I did I'd have to watch everyone around me grow old and die. However that was back when I was five but now at the humble age of eighteen I was posed the same question but my answer was now harder as it had consequences.

It turned out my new friend; crush and now love was immortal. Johan had a curse placed on him when he was younger because of what his father had done. We didn't know how to break the curse and didn't know what would happen it we did.

He had asked me if I wanted to live forever with him. So I went away for a few day sand then came back with my answer, "As long as I'm with you I will chose to live".

26) I hate Everything about You- Three Days Grace. **(Haou)**

I hated everything about him, the way his hair fell, the way he acted so smug all the time and I hated his attitude. His mere presence annoyed me. In the halls that's were we clashed, it was mostly words flung at each other but sometimes fists would fly and I would be left with the taste of blood in my mouth. He tormented me.

He tormented me even in my dreams but it was different. The way body would caress mine, the taste of his lips and the soft sensual sound of his voice whispering sweet nothings in my ear left me waking up feeling empty.

I realised that though I hated everything about him, I loved him too.

27) I feel Immortal – Tarja **(Johan)**

I couldn't live anymore, I didn't want to live, I was a monster in a world fill of monsters. I was a vampire who long ago fell in love with a human named Johan but now he was gone and I was left all alone. I wanted to die but I never could because though he must have died a long time ago, all those years may have passed but when he left me he promised he's come back to me. In my dreams I could still see him, he was the one that truly made me feel immortal and when he did come back to me I'd never let him go again.

28) Undisclosed Desires- Muse **(Judai)**

I was never one to fall in love and though I had a few boyfriends in my 24years all of them left me when they realised that I'd be no more to them than a fling. I didn't mind, I had a good job, helping people was my thing, especially people who went through traumatic situations.

Then he came, a young, well boy only around 18 years of age. He had post traumatic stress disorder from seeing his parents be murdered by a guy who called himself 'Hunter Giese.' I didn't believe in love but that didn't stop the need to help him bubble in my heart. Eventually he got better but I couldn't find it in myself to let him leave me.

It was controversial to have a relationship with a patient so I let him go back to the world he deserved to be free in. As my luck would have is not 2years later I saw him again at a University I was asked to speak at. I realised that at the beginning I was already too in love with him and after the lecture I went up to him and asked him out.

I didn't realise that this was the start of a very beautiful and loving relationship.

29)Ragnarok- Leaves Eyes **(Jehu he's Norse.)**

Us gods had felt the end of everything coming for some time, the ferrous wolf Fenrir had escaped and Loki the trickster had started the end even though Odin with all his powers tried to prevent it as long as possible. The sun had been eaten and the winter that was meant to last three winters had begun. Amongst all the fighting I had noticed two humans who looked a lot like my Haou and I hide up the great tree, protected from the battle.

But I saw one of Loki's followers go near the tree and I couldn't let anything happen to them. I ran in front of the tree and distracted them, I had nothing to live for since Haou had already died and I was going to have to wait for his rebirth anyway. I saw them looking at us in fear and as I died in front of the great tree I glanced at them sadly and saw them hugging, their love so pure that I was glad I died for them.

30)Check Yes Juliet- We the Kings **(Johan)**

I know that it would be extremely cliché to compare mine and Judai's romance with that of Romeo's and Juliet's, that had been done many times before and most of the time they had nothing in comparison to that great but stupid love. I don't even know why anyone would want to compare their love against Romeo's and Juliet's main reason they die at the end by their own stupidity.

Mine and Judai's love was more of a simple forbidden one due to the fact our families hated each other and well his was really homophobic. So we did do the Romeo and Juliet thing by running away but that was after so long of knowing we truly loved each other and instead of creating a huge, ridiculous escape plan we just ran away together. It was our best choice not to copy Romeo and Juliet and instead make our own love story.


	4. XL

**Here's more.**

31) Sirens of the Seven Seas- Sirenia **(Johan)**

The sea was my home, my mistress. I was not one to stay long on land, had no need for the comforts that it was supposed to give. There's a saying 'Live by the sword, die by the sword,' did that also apply to me and the sea? I almost hoped so.

Manning the decks I heard a song so beautiful, I was instantly drawn to it and before fear could dawn upon me I felt of calm and at peace. The singing was so beautiful I tried to get to it but the ocean currents pulled me down. As I began to drown I saw the cause of the music and gasped, not caring that I was breathing in water. He was so gorgeous and I was happy that my last glance of anything in this life was of him.

32)A Winter Poem- Leave's Eyes _**(Johan**_**)**

It had been a long time since I had last saw my beloved, Judai. Three hundred days actually, so close to being a year. He was coming back soon, I new it, he's told me that he's be home for Christmas. I was excited though it was still a few days away, nothing could keep me still very long.

Putting down the book at I just couldn't sit and read I instead leaned on the windowsill and sighed as my breath condensed on the glass. The ice crystals decorating my window with patterns so beautiful and original were no match for Judai's and I wanted him to be here already! Though it was cold I could feel my heart warm in my chest.

33)Elizabeth- II Requiem for the Innocent- Kamelot **(Judai)**

Dracula the Hungarian Count that promoted sex, drugs and eternal youth was not only based on the Romanian Count Vlad but even more so on the Hungarian Countess Elizabeth Bathory. Either was it was still a scary book to read at night all alone but now I could find it bearable with my new lover in the bed beside me, Johan would protect me from anything especially any nightmares threatening me.

34) It's not my Time- 3 Doors Down **(Judai)**

In the beginning of everything I was young; at the age where you just didn't fear in death because it seemed for far away, never going to touch us. My boyfriend Johan and I just live life like the roller coaster it was, all the ups and downs and just loving each other and our friends, our plans for the future vast and only attainable with a lot of hard work.

I was going to propose to him that night as I drove home from work and that's where it happened, I was in a car crash. I died, went to the gates of heaven, the whole shebang. It was a nice place but I couldn't stay, I couldn't leave him. So I asked to be returned to life where I new pain would meet me but I did anyway. I would just walk to the end of the world and back for Johan but from death to life.

35) Pendulous Fall- Kamelot **(Haou)**

People don't like things they don't understand, people don't like things they can't control and most of all they didn't like me. School was hellish and that's putting it nicely, that was put on top of the fact I was depressed and I was almost ashamed to say it but I had cut myself on more than one occasion.

This day however tipped the scales, my parents and found out from my diary (yes I have one, it is not sissy) that I kind of batted for the wrong team. My father of course to the 'Holier than thou' approach and even offered for me to go and see to Priest to counsel me out of my wrong choice.

In the bathroom at school I took out my pocket knife and brought it to my wrist, it was time for me to end it all. But just as I was about to do it a bright emerald eyed kid with teal hair walked in, he's eyes widening at the sight of me. He then took the knife and just sat there and let me talk to him about everything. At the end I might have been starting to get a tiny crush o him…

36) Ghost Opera- Kamelot **(Jehu)**

I was the one who never left; I was the one who you could hear singing through the whistle of the draft and it blew around the building. The boy who inherited the Opera house didn't know of me but I knew of him, he was my Haou, well almost, minus the eyes and the personality.

Judai, if I remembered his name correctly, brought life back to that which was my own Ghost Opera. I knew he was the reincarnation of my lost love because no one could do what he did; no one could sound even as remotely beautiful as my beloved so it had to be him. From my place in the Opera House I watched him and waited until it was his time to join me.

37) April Rain- Delain **(I'm pretty sure that time of year is spring for the northern Hemisphere) (Johan)**

Judai, he was like April rain, random and ever changing and of course to me, much needed. No one could ever tell what he was going to do next and in a way it was annoying not being able to predict his movement. But that was also one of the things I loved about him, he was spontaneous and sweet, even though times with him were sometimes difficult at best like a darkened storm there were also times when happiness sprung like a rainbow in the sky and on rare occasions like our wedding day it would be like a double rainbow appeared.

38 Kryptonite- 3 Doors Down **(Judai)**

I wasn't a hero; well I didn't think of myself as one, I was just doing a job that no one else can do. But sometimes the problem the world had were too much for me to handle and that's when he's come into the picture. Johan, my friend, my lover and my everything was always going to be my hero; he kept me sane when I was beginning to lose my mind. If I was a hero, Johan should be counted as one just as much if not more.

Even the people who seem to have it all still need someone special behind them and my special someone was definitely Johan.

39)Kissing You- Desiree **(Johan)**

I was no longer a whole person; I gave that up a long time ago when I had met Judai. Without him by my side life always seemed that little bit harder. My heart ached when he was gone but just as much as those times brought that tiny bit of pain it was the opposite and more when the brunette was around.

Especially when we kissed. We kissed so many different ways, chaste one just before leaving for work, slow languid ones when you were simply relaxing, hungry ones when we had been separated a little too long and of course passionate ones in the throws of bliss and fervour. I liked no type of kiss more than another because coming from him they all meant that I was loved.

40)Double Team- Tenacious D **(The song comes with a warning.) (Judai)**

My brother Haou and I liked that same person, my best friend Johan. Now normally I wouldn't share something like this but I don't know what came over me when I agreed to ask him out together. He didn't even have to chose, we offered the both of us.

The relationship was different and it was definitely interesting in the bedroom…

**Why I got a lot of Kamelot ones...I don't know... But still please review, they're muchly appreciated and make my day to put it simply :)**


	5. L

**I've written a total of 50 now, woot! I didn't actually think that I would write that many of these….**

**Own none of these songs just was influence the have on my mind.**

41 This is Holloween- The Nightmare Before Christmas. **(Judai)**

I loved Halloween and surprisingly not just for the candy. I loved the dressing up, the freaky attractions and the trying to scare people. My target this year was my boyfriend Johan who had supposedly never been scared by anyone at Halloween. I had put so much effort into it; he would never know what coming till it hit him, I could rub my hands together in glee. But hey who knows, if it's scared enough by the end of the night I just may just have to kiss his fears away.

42)Ghost of You- My Chemical romance _**(Johan**_**)**

I hated war and even more so when my beloved Judai was drafted. I had missed all important holidays with him because of it, this Christmas I had planned to propose to him but who knew what the future would bring. The only reason why I didn't have to go was because my services were needed here more but that's didn't stop me from missing him.

I hated how there seemed to always be people coming to knock on doors and tell whoever was there that their son, brother, lover was dead. It hadn't happened to me yet and then I heard the door bell and felt a lump in my throat, I wasn't expecting anyone.

Like a ghost I walked to the door and opened it to see Judai on the other side. Thinking 'screw what the neighbours think,' I reached out and snatched him into the most passionate, needy kiss I had even given or received.

43)Meadows of Heaven- Nighwish **(Judai)**

I closed my eyes one last time and opened them to a place that was perfect, a place that I had only heard of on could never quite picture for myself though any picture I could have created would have been no place compare to the real thing. Heaven.

Though this place was a Utopia I did realise that I had never gotten to do the things I wanted to on earth and the saddest of them all was never falling in love. Who knew that you'd be given a chance to do that in the after life? Because I didn't. And yet that's where I met Johan, a beauty with pure white flowers in his hair. He looked like an angel and I was not surprised to find that he was the real article.

Unlike many stories he was allowed to be with a simple human sinner like me. Love conquers all boundaries including death; I just never thought that it would happen his way.

44) The Answer Lies Within- Dream Theater **(Johan) **

Life is short, it's too short to dwell on things, to short to focus of mistakes and not learn from them. Life is all about the future and doing things while you still breath, to live every day as if it was your last. As that movie 'The Dead Poets Society' said, 'Carpe Diem…We're all food for worms. Well today I was going to do just that, seize the day and unleash my feelings which should never be hidden.

I took him out for lunch, like friends do and there I confessed to him with lots of poetic beauty might I add. "Judai, I see the future in your eyes and I want to be a part of that future as more than just friends because…" and I told him those three words bursting to get free. "I love you."

He was shocked at first but returned the sentiments, then of course I proceeded t kiss him like there was no tomorrow, you know Carpe Diem-ing it.

45) Look What You've Done- Jet **(Johan)**

My now ex just dumped all of my possessions in a box and expected me to leave without a moments notice. However just as I was about to go I saw a photo of myself hanging on the wall and took it, he didn't need to be reminded of someone he didn't love.

I was in tears by the time I got to the one place I always felt welcome, my best friend Judai's. I didn't knock, I couldn't, I was to upset and weak. It wasn't too long until he found me and he ushered me inside. He listened to me and comforted me; he was always there for me no matter what.

He let me live with him and one morning a few weeks later I received a letter in the mail from my ex and almost began crying again. When Judai saw me he kid of lost it and in that he confessed to me. It wasn't until then I saw how much Judai truly meant to me, he was the one person who deserved to have my picture of their wall just to remind him of how much I loved him every time he saw it.

46) All I need- Within Temptation **(Judai)**

There was one person in this life that was to me like air and food and water, a necessity, something needed to survive. That person was my lover Johan. All the problems of the world just disappeared when I was in his arms.

When I was younger a lot of things happened to be and not all of them were good. Those things made it impossible to believe in love, to ever feel cared about but when we came into my life he slowly healed my heart and soul. He made it possible for me to love others and more importantly him; with him love of me was a reality. With Johan there was one thing that I knew for sure when it came to him was that he would never break me, he was there solely for the purpose of building me up and being my other half.

47) Learn to Fly- Foo Fighters **(Judai)**

For my New Years resolution I decided that I wanted to learn to fly an aeroplane and let's just say that now I've done it, it was no easy feat. When I told my friends they didn't believe me but being the stubborn person I was I needed to prove them wrong.

My instructor was a man only tow years older than myself, a tealette by the name of Johan Anderson. From day one he had faith in me and he was also a really good teacher. He managed to get through to be even though at school I had never been one to pay attention.

By the end of the course I hand to do a solo flight, with him beside me to only take the controls is necessary. He didn't need to. After the flight, when our feet were firmly placed on the ground, I kissed the living daylights out of him. Let's just say that a pilot license wasn't the only thing I gained that day.

48 Why Can't I?- Lizz Phair **(This is my friend song…America better look after her!) (Johan)**

I couldn't get enough of him and I knew that the same was for him, we were only at the very beginning of our relationship but I already knew that I loved Judai, not that I was ready to say the words. Even though everything was still in its preliminary stages I knew that deep in my heart I wanted to be with him forever.

A month after we first got together, we shared 'I love you's and a year after we shared vows. Things moved fast for us but in some ways they didn't move fast enough. I was glad that I had found my one in life and I wasn't going to give him up any time soon.

49) Elegy- Leave's Eyes **(Judai)**

I said so long to my love Johan a few months ago, he are to go to war to protect our land. In the village we were all worried about our loved ones, they normally didn't go out this long and as much as we all wanted to forget about it, the thoughts that they could be lying dead on the battle field often entered our minds more often than they should.

Then they came, the one we were fighting and with that came the sudden dawning that we had lost. On of the men walked up to be and I noticed the necklace that I had made for Johan on his neck, the one I made to ward off evil.

In my pure heart broken pain and despair I went to the top of the tallest cliff and prayed to be with my love soon and I jumped off the edge.

40) My Destiny- Leave's Eyes **(I'm cheating with this one but trust me okay) (Johan)**

A war had started and I had to leave the one I loved behind to fight the menace that called us Vikings barbarians and were trying to steal our land and livelihoods. I heart felt heavy when we sailed away to the foreign shores. After months of battle we were finally heading back home, victorious of course. Those idiots couldn't have won when we so obviously had the very gods on our side.

When we sailed back I saw a figure by the cliff tops and as we got closer I recognised who it was, my beloved Judai. I smiled, looking forward to seeing him once more but then without warning he jumped in and so ignoring with talk of all my friends I jumped in after him hoping that I wouldn't be too late. My some luck of the gods I managed to get him out in time and he was alive. After calling him an idiot I then hugged him closely to my chest, he was really, I was really here with him and life could not be any better.


	6. LX

**Been busy, lost a close friend and other stuff but who cares here's another 10!**

**I don't own these songs nor Yugioh Gx.**

51) Wither- Dream Theater **(Judai)**

I can be ignorant to lots of things but one I wasn't to was the feelings of those close to me and this time one friend in particular. Johan. When ever I saw him he'd get a wistful look on his face and whenever I asked what was wrong he would sigh and say that I would never understand so it didn't matter. He was wrong though because everything about him mattered to me. One day I was walking along and heard him talking to Manjoume.

I know it's rude to listen to others conversations but I heard my name mentioned a few times and curiosity won. Curiosity did kill the cat and I found out that Johan didn't want to be my friend. Beyond upset I ran away, not caring that I'd crashed into a person causing a loud noise and kept running even when Johan called my name. Opening a cleaning cupboard I lent against the door so no one could get in, before I knew could manage my unrequited love knowing that I was his friend but now… now I didn't know anything. A knock on the door and Johan asked for me to let him in.

"Go away," I replied; with as much strength I could muster.

"No."

"Why not? It's not that you care, you don't even want to be my friend anymore."

"That's true," Johan said pausing, "that's because I want you to be something more."

52)Pick you up- Adam Lambert _**(Johan**_**)**

I wasn't as a bad kid, I got good grades and tried not to give my parents too much strife but as a ritual for every first Saturday of the year since Judai and I first met I sneaked out the window at night and went to see him at out special spot. I had a feeling my parents knew since they always gave me a knowing glance when the day came up. We'd done it all through our teenage years and even though we currently were adults the ritual didn't stop.

This year I was going to do something a little different and patted my pocket to make sure I still had them, my heart beating irregularly everywhere I thought about them. We spent a little while mucking about, just talking and stuff until I got the courage got up on one knee and with his hand in mine and our eyes gazing lovingly at each other I pulled out the ring and asked, "Will you marry me?"

53)Hunger- Amaranthe **(Haou)**

My love had been taken for experiments, being of a demonic nature not only made people fear you but the more sadistic ones wanted to study you and not just watching and analysing but poking, prodding and inhumane things because according to them we weren't human.

My heart burned with anger as I broke into their facility and I opened my heart, body and soul to that which I kept inside to protect normal people but these people were more like monsters to me. Blood pooled the ground as I tore past them and though the monster inside would be happy to play with it I took what little control I had to go to the cage Jehu was in and broke it open. I picked him in my arms and though it normally took me a while to get but in control and revert back to my normal form, all he did was open those orange orbs at me and I was back.

Carrying him out it felt as if I could never let go of him again.

54) What have you done- Within Temptation **(Judai) **

I had sacrificed so much of my self over the years, gave up my innocence, my will to have friends, the solitude of my soul, though the last one wasn't really something I minded. It had been years since I had seen any of the people at duel academy, years since I had seen Johan. Yubel didn't mind that fact but he had slowly, grudgingly accepted that the part of me that was just Judai loved Johan and the part that was Haou loved Yubel even though in reality we were one in the same.

That day in Venice when I saw that weird Paradox guy summon Johan's Rainbow Dragon, I felt anger not just at the masked man but at myself for not staying with Johan though I knew he harboured the same feelings for me and I promised that when all this was over I would go back to the bluenette because though over the years I had sacrificed so much I realised that I didn't have to sacrifice the one I love due to my on stubborn morals.

55) This World Can't Tear Us Apart- Trivium **(Johan)**

The year was 1805 and homosexuality was most definitely a crime, a sin, a mental disorder. So I kept to the standard of society, courted women but I could never love any of them the way that one is meant to married a wife, or lover. Then I met him, he was the servant of the woman I was courting and also her chauffer to make sure that I didn't do anything un-gentlemanly.

Judai, his hair was like chocolate and caramel, his eyes the same and it was love at first sight. We began meeting up with each other, away from the world and its beady eyes, to places where we could be more intimate and show our love to each other. My parents thought that it was nice that I could be such friends with another but as mine and Judai's secret relationship grew so did my parents patients of me getting married.

In the end I was set up with a nice lady, blonde, beautiful by the times standards and we were expected to marry but I couldn't do that, not just for myself but for her as well. So at the same time that the wedding was being planned so too Judai and I were planning to leave. On the night before the wedding I wrote a letter to my bride to be as an apology and went to be with the man I loved, I knew it wouldn't be easy for us since homosexuality wasn't accepted anywhere but there was no way I'd let this world tear us apart.

56) Northbound- Leave's Eyes **(Judai)**

I had travelled the world, defeating evils as well as trying to find the place where I belonged but then I realised that no country could be my home, not without the love I left behind, not with out my Johan so I was heading north to his home country of Norway where he was meant to be living.

The plane was almost near my destination of Oslo and I saw a beautiful view of the sea and it was no wonder to me why Johan loved to talk about his home when we were back at Duel Academy. I took a cab to his apartment and rung the bell for the one labelled 'Andersen.'

"Hello,' I heard his unmistakeable voice say, "who's there."

"Johan it's me Judai."

A breath could be heard from the speaker and with a happy note in his voice he let me up. Though I had left him before and there was a trace of hurt in his eyes he still welcomed me with open arms.

"Johan each day I live without you is like trying to live without the sun," I whispered into his woollen jersey, "please give me chance to be with you."

I received a passion filled kiss and took that as a 'yes.'

57) Never Say Never- Fray **(Johan)**

Everyone falls in and out of love at least once in there lives, I had with a few people but there was one person that I knew I would never stop loving. Like all couples we fought, normally over stupid things and normally we'd easily get over it but this time I found myself stomping outside of our apartment and I went for a walk, tears blurring everything but it wasn't until I met the recognisable green of the park I sat down and wiped my eyes trying to calm down.

I realised then that I didn't was Judai to have let me go, I wanted him to have held onto me while I was being stupid but that didn't happen and now I was here alone, scared to go back, worried what he'd say. When I saw Judai walk through the park entrance my mind wanted me to run away but I found I couldn't move. So I let him come to me, sit on the bench beside me and wrap an arm around me as though he would never let me go because that's how I wanted it to be.

58 )Not Strong enough- Apocalyptica (feat. Brent Smith) **(Jehu)**

I wasn't strong enough to leave Haou, if I tried to run from him I had always found that I would run straight back. I was torn between leaving and staying but my weakness to what I felt for him in my heart wouldn't let me go. It was like I was a moth and he was the flame and even though the flame was dangerous I couldn't leave.

As much as I loved Haou I couldn't help but hate him, I always had and always will at least with my more reliable mind but my heart and my love would over come that because both of them lay in his clutches. And so I would be with him, surrender myself to him like I would never do to another because I had always thought it was a flaw to have to rely on someone else and with Haou that just proved it's self. But as much as I hated that feeling of being fragile I couldn't leave.

59) The Reason- Hoobastank **(Judai)**

I was most definitely not perfect and had done many things that hurt others, especially those I cared about even though I hadn't meant to do any of the but though I had hurt all of my friends, there was on that stood out most to me, the one I loved, Johan.

It was because of me that Yubel took us to the other dimension; it was because of me that Johan had sacrificed himself of that the rest of us could go back to Duel Academy; it was my fault that Yubel took over his body and trapped him inside his soul.

That was why I couldn't say goodbye to anyone on the last day I was ever going to be at school because I had hurt them. Now though I wish I did have a chance to at least tell Johan that I was going try to make myself a better person, for him, for everyone else to but mostly for him.

60) Not alone- A Very Potter Musical (I know, I know)**(Johan)**

The one problem Judai had was that he couldn't see that fact that he wasn't actually alone in the world. I knew that he had seen things of the world, that were heartless and that it wasn't easy for him that he was surrounded my darkness. Though I had never seen as much as Judai had I understood and even if others didn't understand he had to learn that he had me, he would always have me because I also knew that there would be nothing that would make me stop loving him.

So on one of those days where he would just wander by himself, away from everyone, physically showing was he thought in his mind I went up to him and explained all that to him. It hurt when I say tears brim in his eyes but I knew that he was too strong to let them fall but I still gave him a hug, revelling in the feeling of having his heart beat so close to mine. After we went back to his friends and though he would never go back to the way he used to be it made my heart warm to see him happy once again


	7. LXX

**I feel like no one likes these T.T but here's another one. **

**I don't own any of these songs which I don't mind so much as I don't own Yugioh Gx… or at least the right to have made Spiritshipping canon.**

61) Bleeding Rain- Vapmires Everywhere! **(Haou)**

My love for him contradicted all that I was; I never thought that I'd ever feel that way for any one because how could someone like me ever feel something as pure as that? Then Jehu came along, dark, surly and gorgeous. I'll say that it was lust at first sight since 'love at first sight' would be taking it too far. No matter how much I said that it was just sex, physical needs being sated I began to grow closer to him. Slowly it wasn't just sex but we would talk, cuddle and all that other sappy crap. It was when after a heated season of love making, which should have been a sign when I started calling the act THAT, and I lay on my side watching him sleep peacefully finally everything clicked. Now I was stuck in a situation that I had no idea how to handle but with the sickening thing called love I think I may make it through.

62)Hearts of Frozen Stone- Entwine (I remember making a FFVII-cc- video clip for this song)_**(Johan**_**)**

Judai had changed, ever since Dark world, gone was the happy overly laid back teen that I had grown to love and be replaced with the dark humoured, lonely man that he now was. I still loved Judai but I didn't know if that love could last, not for the new him. Of course I knew that what he had done and seen, couldn't have left him completely unscarred but it was just hard for me to accept him now.

Yet as Mr. T had come to destroy the world I found myself having to rely on Judai with his heart of frozen stone and I found that I wanted to do nothing more than melt it and make him warm again, open him up and maybe bring him to love me. As I joined him on the boat back to Duel Academy I knew that my love for him would probably never fade but that was okay because I also knew that there was probably no other person in the world more deserving of my love.

63)Momento Mori- Kamelot **(Judai)**

Life is short, sixty years gone in a blink of an eye. Though in that short time I had learnt so much and then again I probably haven't learnt enough. I learnt that nothing was black and white; darkness could be just as evil as light was and maybe there was a difference between losing something and sacrificing it.

I know now that my time has come, that it's finally time for me to close my eyes and go into an endless sleep. I had gone through all the stages of life, the spring when I was just growing up, summer which was my pinnacle and the autumn as it all was slowly coming to an end would finish soon and I would be put into winter.

Already so many others had gone before me, friends, family, my love Johan but when I closed my eyes, mementos of them would appear in my mind and for a moment it would feel like my summer again. It was lonely though, when there were only a few left but I knew that I would see them again. Everyone had to have there chance at living, summer couldn't last forever and so I retired and let the younger people have there go.

I felt Johan's lips near my ear and heard him calling to me, telling me to let go and though I should have been scared, I wasn't because he was helping me through. I closed my eyes one last time in this world to open them into the after life and to meet my Johan's bright emerald one. After all what does a winter bring if not yet another spring.

64) Brick by Boring Brick- Paramore **(Johan) **

He lived in a different world, not figuratively or mentally but literally. I had been there once by accident and at the time I was too young to realise how handsome Judai had been but now I did because though I hadn't been back I would never forget him. I wanted to go back, go and find him; I tried to find the entrance but there was nothing to be found.

Life passed by, my childhood long gone and teenage years too close to be forgotten and I had continued with my life, finished university and gotten a job. One day as I was walking to work I saw an unmistakeable brown and orange head of hair and called out. "Judai!"

The brunette turned to me, looking no different than he had all those years ago and ran over to be, wrapping his arms around me and looked up into my eyes. "Johan, you've grown up so much, even taller than me," he frowned slightly at that.

"Well you haven't," I stated, "still as good looking as ever."

Taking a chance kissed him lightly before I lost all of my courage. I was the one to break it which was a good sign. "Wow," Judai said, slightly taken aback.

"Yeah, um well… I've liked you for a long time and I wanted to get back to you but I didn't know how so I couldn't tell you… I'm not doing a good job of this. Would you like to go out with me for dinner?" I asked.

"Sure," he replied and received another more heated kiss from me.

65) Time of Dying- Three Days Grace **(Judai)**

Sometimes it felt that I was stuck in a perpetual dream, or more a nightmare. Since the new government had been voted in there had been subtle changes and slowly but surely it had turned into a totalitarian regime but with a difference. Unlike pervious ones there were cameras in every home with almost no place that was unseen by them. We were watched 24/7 and if we didn't follow the rules supplemented… well then we were just screwed.

It wasn't long ago that I had joined in the resistance; there may have been a zero to none chance of escape but that didn't stop us because one thing that people needed was freedom and we weren't getting any. Food was low and so I volunteered myself as a scavenger knowing full well the dangers but if it wasn't be Johan would have gone and I couldn't let that happen, not when I loved him.

I had been caught but that didn't stop me from running. I felt something hot pierce my shoulder and landed on the rough asphalt, blood already starting to pool around me and though I was dying I only had one regret, that I had never told Johan how I felt.

66)Simple and Clean- Utada Hikura **(Johan)**

Judai was my everything, even just a smile from him made my life seem like it couldn't get better but there was one problem in loving him. The brunette had a job to do, one in which he would have to leave for unknown periods of time to save people, or even the world from evil forces. Every time he left even though I knew that what he did was important I couldn't help but not want him to go.

That being said, distance makes the heart grow fonder and so every time Judai came back the moment would grow sweater every time. I don't know whether others could beat this one because after surprising me with an early return Judai got down on one knee and proposed. After saying yes we shared a sweat kiss and though I knew that nothing would ever be simple with Judai it was okay because that was just a part of who he was and I did love all of him after all.

67)If Today Was Your Last Day- Nickleback **(Johan)**

My best friend Judai gave me the best advice that 'Each days a given and not a given right.' Of course it wasn't exactly original advice but it was true nonetheless. Judai had told me that after I had told him that I had feelings for someone but was too scared to tell them because they were a close friend of mine and I didn't want to lose that friendship.

So today I was going to take that advice and tell my special someone, wondering slightly if Judai would have said the same thing if he knew who the person I liked was. I knocked on the hard wooden door and waited for it to be answered. When it opened up the love of my life appeared, smiling at me with no clue as to what I was going to say.

"Judai, you told me the other day that I should live without fear or I'd face regrets so I've come here to do just that," I paused taking a deep breath, "It's you, that 'someone' is you, I've liked you too long and have loved you for almost as long. Would you like to be my boyfriend?"

If it was possible his smile widened. "Yes, I'd be honoured to be your boyfriend."

68 ) Tiny Heart - Flyleaf **(Judai)**

When I met Johan he was so closed off, on the surface he seemed to almost be like the Norwegian version of me but there was more to him than that, they just didn't get as close to him as I did, to far away to see the truth. Even though I was kind of naïve to a lot of things I couldn't help but feel that his heart shut it's self away from me, as if he was scared of something. I fell in love with him… even when we departed from each other there would be no other like him.

So I wrote Johan a letter, delivered it to his house personally when I found out where he lived telling him how I felt and if he wanted to be with me to come to a small café near the ocean in Oslo, a kind of cowardly way to confess to someone. That was where I was, waiting for him and just when time was almost up I saw Johan in the distance and a weight was lifted in my heart.

69) The Poet and the Pendulum- Nightwish **(Jehu)**

I had been captured and imprisoned by Haou, it wasn't my fault that his soldiers were weak and it was easy to kill them and take what they had. That was why the Supreme King came himself to collect me. It was a good fight, it had been so long since I'd had one of those but it was almost worth getting captured for it, almost. Haou of course won, using the dark tendrils at his possession to tie me down in the end. When he looked at me with those cold golden eyes I felt a shiver down my spine as I saw a trace of lust within their depths.

Brought to his castle and chained to the wall was where I was now, I hadn't been there very long, a day or two at the most with out seeing anyone, not even the guards. When the metal door was opened I peered open my eyes in a glare at who entered and who entered was none other than Haou himself.

"Is that anyway to look at someone who's brought you food and water," he asked his voice husky.

"Yeah because you must want something in return so what is it?" I questioned unkindly.

"Well since I have everything what would I want?" Haou pretended to think about it for a while even though it was obvious what was on his mind and I forced myself to keep a blank face since it was something I wanted to. "I know, how about you and your body?"

"If I say no you'll probably take me anyway and I wouldn't get anything from it so okay, for food and water you can have me."

And he did, he was sexier than I had pictured underneath all of that amour and there was a reason why he was called the "Gentle darkness" even though he was a bit of a sadist, it didn't matter since I was a bit of a masochist. That went on for months, I think, since I really had no system of time except I knew that it was another day every time Haou came to claim me, he was insatiable.

Slowly as time drew on I received more and more things, a room to myself though it was still obvious that I was imprisoned, new clothes which was a sexy leather outfit with tonnes of buckles which Haou liked to take off of me. It was weird that he'd do all of this stuff for me when basically I was no more than a sex slave but it was soon made clear that he wanted to make me more.

We had sex for the first time in his room and once we were finished Haou lay on his side facing me as I did him while running his fingers up and down my nude side. "Jehu," he said lightly, his tone almost kind.

"Yeah?"

"How would you like to rule by my side?"

I looked at him suspiciously. "And like everything thing else what would you like for it?"

"Your hand in marriage," he replied and I noticed that as he waited for my reply his hand stopped moving on my waist.

"Of course," I replied and we made love for the first time as fiancé.

70) Wonderboy – Tenacious D (they are so hard to do)**(Judai)**

To me Johan seemed to be above everything else, above the others and I didn't know the reason why, of course he was my best friend but that didn't seem to be the case here. The bluenette was just like a sunrise amongst darkened clouds to me and I had a feeling that maybe this was how love felt. Unsure though I went to Fubuki who was like a love guru and told him about the light feeling I had in my heart and the fluttery one in my stomach every time I saw Johan.

When Fubuki confirmed my thoughts to be true I was stuck once more, I had never loved someone the way I loved Johan so I had to ask Fubuki what to do. After he told me I stuck to what he said and was on my way to tell Johan how I felt for him.

**Review, it makes my day a hell of a lot better.**


	8. LXXX

**I'm now considering stopping when I reach 100 which is 10x more than what I was meant to do with this challenge though really I'm no longer doing the challenge. **

**Yugioh Gx, I also don't own the rights to any of the songs on my media player. **

71) The Last Time- Within Temptation **(Johan)**

I tried to resist it after things had changed so drastically, what I was trying to resist was Judai and my love for him. Before everything happened I would count myself certifiably insane for trying to give up my love for someone like the naïve Judai but now it was different. There were two demons that now resided in his mind, Haou which I had next to no experience with and Yubel which I had probably too much experience with.

It sickened me slightly that Judai chose to share his soul with Yubel especially after all that the demon had done to me in order to get back at what Judai did when he was too young to even realise it and what he did wasn't even supposed to hurt Yubel because even at that young age the brunette loved him. I guess that made it even harder for me because there was already someone else that Judai loved and that love was something I couldn't compete with. However there really wasn't anything that could be done, Judai would continue to house those demons, just as I would continue to love him.

72)Somebody Told Me- The Killers _**(Johan**_**)**

When I met Judai for the first time I couldn't help but feel an instant connection to him. The school that I just went to as an exchange student on a scholarship was full of really rich and snobby people, people who had everything brought for them. Judai wasn't like that, he may have been a bit of a slacker but natural talents kept him in the school, he didn't just get in on his parents wallet.

Being of the same kind, like brothers in arms we grew to become close and it was like we were peas in a pod. That time that I grew to know him, Judai was with another and so completely off limits and yet I fell in love with him anyway. I tried to forget him, tried going out with other people but I learnt that none of them could replace him, none of them could cause me to match the same if not more feelings as I felt for Judai. I stayed his friend throughout the years and even though we had grown up we hadn't grown apart, I hadn't told him how I felt either and now we were on the edge of his wedding to his teenage sweat heart and I didn't know what to do.

73) Ne Pleure Pas (French version of Don't You Cry)- Kamelot **(Judai)**

I had gone from the earth many years ago, leaving behind friends, family and the one I loved and who loved me, Johan. As I watched down on everyone who used to know me I knew that out of all of them Johan was suffering the most. It was hard for me to have to watch him go through that especially when I had never left him and instead was waiting for him to be able to see me again and meet up.

It was years before Johan went out on dates again and though in reality I wasn't a selfless person I was glad that he found someone special in a guy named Jim. It was probably selfish that I was happy for him because I just loved seeing Johan happy and have his eyes sparkle. Anyway life was for the living. Even though he was happy that didn't stop me for looking forward to being with him again, however long that took.

74)Numb- Linkin Park (Looking back at previous ones this came be an accompaniment to Tiny Heart)**(Johan) **

It was hard for me, hard to go to another school and instantly be compared to the 'superstar' of that school as a replica from another country. When I got to know Judai more I didn't mind as much because I learnt that we were in fact different even if we did share some similarities but that didn't stop me from hating how people would never stop saying that I was like Judai even they didn't know me well enough to make that assumption.

I was growing tired of it so it drove me to create my own image for myself, one that wasn't shrouded by the brunette. That drive clouded some of the other parts of my life and when I had finally achieved what I wanted I realised that the whole time I was doing that I was growing away from Judai, a man who I now suddenly realised that I was completely and utterly in love with but was too blind to see when I was worried about how others saw me. Now I had another task that had nothing to do with other people and that was getting Judai.

75) The City is at War- Cobra Starship **(Haou)**

The city was at war, not in the sense most attributed to the word, as a group of people wanting to gain something but more individualistic. Everyone wanted a piece of the high life and most would do anything for it. I was lucky; unlike most others I had been born into a position of being the son of a Kingpin of one of the highest gangs in the city and wouldn't have to worry about having to beg for anything.

There however was another crime family who also had a son around my age and though I had never met him, didn't even know what he looked like I already knew that Jehu was almost as ruthless and as strong as me. Dancing in a club I owned personally, girls and guys alike grinding on the dance floor I saw a tealette by the bar and enthralled went over to buy him a drink. We flirted, danced, went to my place afterwards and as he lay asleep by my side I looked through his wallet to find that he was Jehu. This was going to be interesting since I had no want of letting him go.

76) Fix You- Coldplay **(Johan)**

Judai had changed he had become a broken person, unable to do what he loved in fear that he would hurt others. Life now no longer moved forward for him and he was stuck in a moment of darkness that didn't seem to end. If a person who wasn't as strong as Judai was in the same position they would cry it all out but he would never let himself do that because for so long he had to seem strong for everyone else and that had taken his toll.

I wanted to at least try to fix him because I was too in love to let Judai go, to let him suffer in a partially self made hell. It was going to be hard since depression was always hard to over come. Through all the days that he would curl up in bed without the drive to get out, the days he would sit on the edge of a cliff thinking about something I was there helping him through. When he started to come out on the better side of it I knew that all that time and effort hadn't been wasted because even though there would always be cracks at least he was whole again.

77) Everlong- Foo Fighters (The acoustic version, which I actually prefer)**(Judai)**

With the rush of everyday life sometimes people forgot to appreciate the small things but I made sure that I would never get so caught up that I would do something like that. The small things tended to make everything matter, it was like waiting for Johan to come home from work and the precious time that was used to greet each other.

I also loved lying in bed with Johan after making love, the sweat touches shared that had nothing sexual to them, just loving. It was those small moments of utter contentedness that made all the stress of life worth it, especially when those moments were shared with Johan.

78 )Take Your Fingers From My Hair- Dream Theater (cover) **(Judai)**

I had fallen in love with someone who I had believed felt the same way for me, someone who I thought would always be enough for me and I enough for them. That turned out to be a fallacy. He had proven it to me by going out and cheating on me and though I believed that I knew this for longer than I care to think about it, it was a while before I could finally break it off with him because together we had created so many memories and with him doing this to me I questioned that if in the future maybe this could happen to me with someone else.

When I did break it off, he made it even harder by saying that he would change, running his fingers through my hair and say that he still loved me, that those other people meant nothing and the reason why he did it was because since we were apart so much he missed me and it led him to be with other people. It wasn't too hard to look into his eyes and see that the spark that he initially held for me had disappeared and he knew that what he was saying was a lie. After I saw that it wasn't hard to leave.

One thing that I did find hard though, was suddenly living alone, after being married to him for a year and having a relationship with him for another two before that finding that I was by myself was hard especially since I was also mending a broken heart. He had taken our friends so I had no one at all, well I didn't think I had. That was when the person who had been my best man at the wedding returned to my life, Johan.

Instead of dating anyone I just went and hung out with him, almost like old times. We spent nearly ever spare moment together and before I knew it I had fallen in love with him. For a while I didn't know what to do, I thought about not telling him because I didn't want to get hurt again but another more sensible part of me told me that Johan would never do that to me.

As I became more aware of my feelings and slowly accepted them I noticed that Johan acted around me differently than he did his other friends and it wasn't because we were best friends since Jim who was another best friend of his was treated differently than me. Then I realised that he had always done this without ever noticing it before.

That night I watched my wedding video, the one I hadn't yet brought myself to burn and kept my eye on Johan seeing a sad, heartbroken look in his eyes as I walked up the aisle, one I didn't notice on the day and I found out that Johan loved me. He loved me for so long and I was ignorant to it, I had known heartbreak but I didn't think that I could know it to the extent that he did and it brought a tear to my eye. Why did I have to be so stupid to realise what had been there for years? There was proof in old photographs and memories. It broke my heart that he had to go through unrequited love for too long.

I didn't know what I could give him to make up for all his pain and questioned that was I enough, if I gave all of myself to him would that be enough. Even though I had been up most of the night thinking about it and it was nearly three o'clock in the morning I went to his apartment knowing that Johan would always let me in.

As soon as the door opened I flung myself into his arms. "I'm sorry."

Taken aback Johan took a while to return my hug. "Why? What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry it took me so long to realise that I love you too."

He put me at arms length. "How long have you known that I have loved you?" he asked, face completely guarded.

"A few days ago but I wasn't completely sure till this morning and then I realised that for almost as long as we've known each other you have never not loved me," I replied.

"And when did you realise you loved me?" His mask still staying in place.

"A month ago."

A smile graced his lips and I was reclaimed in his arms and claimed with his lips. "What took you so long?"

79) On the Other Side - Delain **(Johan)**

Rainbow Dragon's attack ended and the gate opened to transport the others through to our dimension. I felt happy on the inside that I could get the others back to school but in truth my selfless act wasn't for them, all I did was for Judai alone. Though I felt happy there was also another side of me that called me an idiot but it was so small that it was easily ignored.

The sand disappeared and I too was transported to another world, this one was dark and gloomy, the people scared because of living duel monsters who threatened our existence as they waited for their leader to return, whoever that was. I stayed in a small village with some nice people who took me in and I began my waiting because I was sure that Judai would find a way to come back for me.

80) Beautiful- Apocalyptica **(Judai)**

Johan was beautiful; his pale creamy skin tone that never seemed to be touched by the sun contrasted the depthlessness of his bright green emerald eyes and the perfect sea like teal of his hair. In class I used to go asleep because there was nothing interesting enough to keep my attention but now I just pretended to sleep while sneaking a glance at the beauty beside me.


	9. XC

**90, oh wow. Well I was thinking that maybe once I get to 100 if anyone wants me to I'll do 20 bonus drabbles of Selfshipping and Possessionshipping so tell me if you do.**

81) Sanctuary- Utada Hikura **(Johan)**

Judai was not an arm lengths away from me, the moonlight that streamed into the room showed his delicate eyelashes fluttered slightly and his breath whispered in the quite depths of sleep. In truth I should be asleep too but I didn't want to, not when I could just lie on my side and watch him, so peaceful, so beautiful. It was in moments like these that all my fears just washed away because they truly meant nothing, at least not now.

My hand fought against my restraint to brush a strand brown hair from he face and in the end my restraint won. I loved Judai that much that I couldn't do that to him, not with the feelings I held for him because he was so untainted and I was unsure if I started could I stop. So I tried to content myself to watching him and lay facing him until my eyes could not keep open any longer and I joined him in sleep and in my dreams.

82) Move Along- The All American Rejects_**(Judai**_**)**

When their relationship began I always found it hard, I mean Haou-nii and Jehu were a good couple but there was one major flaw and that was Haou wasn't me. It made me feel like a horrible person that I could not be happy for my older brother and my friend except I just couldn't, not when my heart broke a little every time I saw them merely hold hands. So I tried my hardest to move along.

I was told once that the only way to get over a love was to fall in love with someone else. This was easier said than done because no one I knew could overcome the expectations that my heart made due to Jehu. Then I met Johan, I don't know why but everything clicked into place suddenly when I saw him. It was stated by some that I was only with him because he was a Jehu clone however I knew that he wasn't, he was completely different. He was sweat, strong and everything I needed. After that moment I never had to feel jealous of Haou again because he had his soul mate and I had mine.

83)Slow, Love, Slow – Nightwish **(Judai)**

Hundreds of years ago when art and science was just re-blooming in the world after the dark ages, I sat in front of an artist and let him draw me, unaware that he was in fact a magician. I didn't know until the last brush stroke was done and a bright golden light came out and absorbed me into the painting. So there I was stuck in a limbo, watching the world through the barrier that trapped me in, often I was hung on a wall but there were times when years would pass and I wouldn't see anything but darkness.

That was until he came. I was being sold in the boot of a car and a young gentleman with teal hair appeared. He brought me and I was placed on the room in his bedroom. There he would study me, first from a distance but eventually he grew braver and ran his fingers across my face until one day he lent in and kissed me full on the lips. The shackles that imprisoned me suddenly disappeared and I fell out on the painting onto him, our lips still connected.

Breaking apart I said, "Thank you," then lightly pecked on the lips.

Slightly dazed he held up his hand to my cheek and promptly fainted. I chuckled, still buzzed from being free; it would be interesting to see was happened next.

84) I Don't Care- Apocalyptica **(Jehu)**

I don't care about anything anymore. Haou made sure of that, when I first got to know him I fought every moment but I was trapped. It was his job to break people, the people who resisted his rule. Even in the beginning I knew I wasn't the only one, for he wanted to make a league of generals to follow his every command and help him take over the whole of Dark World.

Torture was a popular trick but it didn't end like that because when Haou knew that he had crumbled us down into near nothingness he began his work on reconstructing. He mixed pain with pleasure, making me, making the others completely reliant on him. I don't know how but I fell in love or at least imagined love for him and that led me to be able to do so much for him that I wouldn't have done before.

Then the resistance had to rise up and I fought them, I had even fought my brother and just as everything was about to end I wish that I still had something that I cared about. The closest thing I had was Haou.

85) The Little Things Give You Away- Linkin Park **(Random student)**

Even though I wasn't at all close to Judai's group and the closets thing I got to them was the fact that we shared some classes or passed in the hall it was obvious that there was something going on between him and the new kid, Johan Andersen. It was definitely the small things that gave them away; the familiar way they wrapped their arms around the others shoulders, the lingering brush of their fingers as they walked with each other and the way they'd often hold hands with the pretence of showing one another something.

I wondered if their friends had noticed but it didn't really seem like it, not when Asuka had already taken the position through rumours and it was probably sad that I did notice all those little things that gave away something more but it didn't matter because it gave me the feeling that maybe love really existed.

86) The Last Tear- Flyleaf **(Johan)**

There were people out there that saw tears as a sign of weakness but they were wrong, I wasn't a weak person but I had shed tears plenty of times in my life, important parts of my life. A tear came to my eye in joy when Judai confessed and we shared our first kiss, in fulfilment when Judai and I made love, making me feel more complete than I had ever had before, in anger as he left me to go on another hero mission, in regret as I waited for him wishing I had let him go with a kiss and in utter contentment as Judai wrapped his arms around me when he came back both of us sorry.

The last time I cried for him was in mourning in the following weeks after his departure, knowing that he wouldn't like to see me that was. Washington Irving said, "_There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief… and unspeakable love." _And he was right.

87) I Don't Wanna Die – Hollywood Undead **(I'm not really partial to this song but still have it…) (Haou)**

Entertainment had gone back into the dark ages with people watching those who died, like gladiator fights except more dangerous. No one was forced to join them, not really but in the totalitarian dystopia that we lived in we didn't really have a choice, we were all too poor to stay staunch. I was in such a situation and in order to save my younger brothers life I joined the show that made the most money. A thousand a day for every one I survived for thirty days, if by the end I was still alive I went free, if not the money went to my brother. The longest any one had lived for was twenty days.

'Hunters,' chased me, their job made easier by the journal I was forced to send in everyday and the cameras that constantly followed me. There was one in particular that got closer than the rest, a blunette with orange eye and a permanent smirk on his face. The last day had dawned and I was near my last minutes. He was there hot on my heels. With a leap me tackled me, knife to my throat, we tousled, fighting with all we had. At some point in time I had snatched his knife and held it to his throat, claxons going off before I had done the job.

With an offered hand I helped him up, I had one the game. Once the cameras were gone, he still stayed and suddenly kissed me, I knew I should be repulsed but there was nothing in me to pull away.

88) (You Want to) Make A Memory- Bon Jovi **(Johan)**

When I was with Judai, everything was different, not necessarily peaceful with all of the things that happened around him but even in those times something in me was pulled to be with him no matter what was going around us, whether it be (literal) demons from his past or us just sitting in each others company and talking about everything and nothing. Even with out him realising it he was stealing a piece of time in my mind every moment he was around, details being stored in my memories to never be forgotten.

Each memory was worth as much to me as the last even though some stood out more than others. I wasn't till I had matured a bit more that I realised it was cause I had feelings for him so when I confessed and Judai kissed me I definitely kept that as a new special memory.

89)Red Sam- Flyleaf **(Judai)**

I didn't know why Johan put up with it, nor did I understand why no one else did anything about it. He was being hurt by someone who supposedly loved him and yet there were times I would confront him about it and he would lie and fight for his cause. That didn't matter to me because I would never give up on him. I tried to talk to his lover and yet nothing changed and I knew that until Johan was dead it probably wouldn't.

It was hard to understand how someone that was once so vibrant could turn into a mere shadow of them selves but even though that had happened I didn't stop loving him and would often condemn myself for not winning him over first. When I did finally manage to free him, his ex getting some hard time in prison for other charges, I continued to help him with making sure that he ate properly and that he was going to the counsellor for help. Even though I knew it would be a long time before he was ready to be with anyone, including me, I had already come so far so why would I stop.

90)Paid in Full- Sonata Artica **(Johan)**

When Judai and I ended, it was on mutual terms, both of us knew that long distant relationships didn't work and neither of us could give up our dream jobs for each other and even though it was on nice terms I couldn't help feel bitter that we couldn't have let our relationship bloom into something more like it was forcing us to do every minute we were together. We however also knew that if one was forced to give up what they wanted to do, the other, though it might not be said, would had dark feelings of regret harboured against them.

But then I came to a point, not months after our separation that I realised that maybe a job wasn't worth giving up Judai, giving up the person I loved because I did love him and after a lot of pulling of strings I had managed to gain a job with the same company (even if it wasn't quite what I wanted) in the same city as Judai. I didn't know what he'd do when he saw me, if he'd even be single. I went to his apartment anyway, my heart thudding hard against my chest and knocked on the door, my heart blossoming, after a moment of the brunette realising who I was, when he tugged me to him and kissed me with more of himself, myself than I thought possible.


	10. C

**My final 10... would have had them up earlier if I wasn't such an idiot (I closed the first time without saving). That doesn't matter now though so I guess since the possessionshipping wasn't wanted this is it.**

91) Cry Me A River- Julie London **(Jehu)**

'Love' I actually used to think that it was meant to be eternal, actually thought that Haou really meant something to me, that I meant something to him but he said love was too plebeian and that was when he ended it. It was hard those few days, weeks… I don't know, I guess it's even hard now. Thought I'd never shed a tear over something like that but the emotional heart break mixed with the physical feeling just tore me down.

So when he came back, as much as I wanted to hold him, tell him all was forgiven, I couldn't forget the pain he caused me. He had left his mark and it made it hard to move at all. Folding my arms as he waited for my response I could only tell him that I didn't believe him and that he had to prove him, prove that he really does love me. Unless he did that I wasn't going to be with him again because I didn't want to cry a river over someone who didn't really care.

92) Just the Way You Are- Bruno Mars (Why I try to keep my brother away from my music, no offense just not my taste) **(Judai)**

I guess everyone had their insecurities but I couldn't understand why Johan had any, he was perfect. Not only did he was the most beautiful emerald eyes as if they were really jewels, his sea blue hair that reflected the light just right or his body which to say wasn't nice would either be a lie or come from a blind person. No he had all that and then he had a great personality on top of that.

So when he going into a mood one day I formulated a plan to make his day better. I stuck sticky notes to everything with little things that I found perfect about him on the inside of his locker, books, lunch box. I however kept one till last and waited till I saw him coming around the corner when I placed it on my chest above my heart.

Johan's green eyes crinkled around the edges as smiled at the last one. "If you were a pokemon I'd use an everstone on you because you're amazing just the way you are," he read out loud, shaking his head at the reference, "I guess the best was saved for last."

"But that wasn't the last," I stated and told him to pull the note off my chest and read the back.

"'And all that's not even a small part of the reason I have given you my heart.' Who are you and what have you done with Judai?" the blunette accused jokingly, "It's either that or you've had above the daily dosage of cheese in take."

If I did it didn't matter when his lips were placed upon mine.

93) Poison- Alice Cooper _**(Haou**_**)**

Jehu, even the name struck something in me, plucking at a heart sting... calling me. To me that sounded stupid, half the time I didn't believe I had a heart. Still there he was, the sadistic thief who stole what wasn't his to have, stole me. I felt imprisoned, shackled to my lust which was chained to him. It was hard to imagine that anyone would ever have managed to take my train of thought away from me and make it so it all led directly to them and yet Jehu did. Magic wasn't real however when it came to what he had done to me I just couldn't be so sure, when it came to him nothing that I was certain of before seemed so.

He must have drugged me, fed poison into my veins, what else could explain it? If there was something I could think of none. There was one thing that had come to mind but I swore against it, it was love. I refused to believe the concept of love, if I accepted it then I'd realise that I'm already too far gone to do anything about it. It was like I was a fly caught in his web trying and failing to escape but unlike a normal fly I questioned if I really wanted to.

94) No End, No Beginning- Poets of the Fall **(Johan)**

It was like I was stuck in a rut, doomed to eternity of walking around and round in circles, unable to move forward or back. There was one thing that I knew would take me from this place but the fear in my heart, my being was too deep. I didn't want to leave however I knew that I had to, I was stuck with someone that I didn't love. She knew it, I think she always knew that she was some kind of substitute but her love for me clouded her judgement and mine was clouded by how I forced the feelings I subconsciously felt for my still best friend on her. The thing that stopped me was what would I do when it had ended.

Judai as I knew he would took me in without a moment's notice, I don't know what he expected when he saw me on his doorstep after hearing about my break up but I doubt it was a man who was finally free. She took some of our friends but I knew that I'd always have him. We spent so long together, I at one point often offered to go and find my own apartment however I shut up when I realised how much that hurt the brunette's feelings. I didn't realise how much my leaving would have caused him until we got into an argument about something stupid and then I found his lips on mine. I was glad for the new beginning.

95) Plans –Birds of Tokyo **(Johan)**

Sometimes having a plan seems like a necessary thing and yet even the best laid out plan can be forced to change for uncontrollable variables. I had a plan on the first day back at school after the summer holidays to finally ask out Edo Phoenix, what I did not expect was to completely forget about him the moment I saw Judai. I'd always questioned Romeo and how he could forget Rosaline when he saw Juliet, thought that he was an arse. I didn't think that maybe he wasn't really in love with Rosaline but the thought of her, like realised I was with Edo.

Love at first sight may have been real but it was far from being as strong as love was when you truly knew the other person and though I could already read his facial expressions I decided that for now I would earn his friendship. Maybe later we'd become something more.

96) Beating Hearts Baby- Head Automatica **(Judai)**

When I was younger I heard of the term 'heartbroken,' At first I couldn't understand how it worked, I thought that without all your vital organs working perfectly you would become sick or even die. I definitely could not understand how a heartbroken person looked perfectly alive, not even a little bit sick. The saying was deemed as silly and stored in the back of my mind to lay undisturbed until the day I finally knew the meaning.

It was quite a while 'til that happened since I was a late developer when it came to anything romantic. Yet I wasn't completely immune to love and I believe that the exact point when I first felt it was when I saw Johan for the first time. Being romantically inept it not only took my own realisation but the help of others to come to the conclusion that I was in love and then further help to know what to do. Sadly I had gotten there too late, finding out before I even told him when Edo declared the news to the rest of us and I received sympathetic glances from those with me.

That was when I came to understand what heartbreak was, I was still able to sit there, talk and smile while on the inside my heart physically hurt and left me numb inside. I then knew that having a broken heart wasn't literal; it wouldn't cause death even if it did feel like a part of me was dying on the inside.

97) Love Story- Taylor Swift **(Johan)**

I on a whim had decided one day to watch a whole bunch of romantic movies and the more I watched them the more the next became predictable. There were mostly two lines to go on: First boy meets girl (Brokeback Mountain the only exception), they fall in love but can't be together, get together anyway, there is a heart retching tragedy and they overcome all odds and get their happily ever after. Second is that they meet, hate each other but go through a series of events that bring them together in the end and once more a happily ever after.

Life is not a romantic movie... its life.

In life we may never meet our 'perfect other half' amongst all the people that we see because all the people we do see is such a small amount of the whole and then a large chunk of all the people we see we will walk by without a single glance. Yet people still find love, so it may not be the one and yes my lover Judai may not be the one but I would not give him up anyway. Generic romantic films may be entertaining but life is far better.

98) Heal my Wounds- Poets of the Fall **(Judai)**

There was eventually a day that I had never predicted would come but inevitable all the same, the day we I would no longer be needed and that a new hero would take my place. When that day came I felt lost in both the world and myself, unable to know what to do next and felt completely useless. I was obsolete and when something became obsolete it tended to be thrown away.

It was in a cafe, doing nothing astounding or extraordinary when he came back into my life. Johan when buying a coffee recognised me amongst the other patrons and asked to sit with me, the thought of refusal never came to my mind. We just sat and talked for what passed as something so fast and yet in reality were a great amount of time. Instead of leaving it like we could have that day we shared numbers and promised to keep in contact with each other and we certainly did.

Every time we met we were able to conserve about all types of things with ease and yet not once did Johan bring up anything to do with having a lover being it male or female. I found it odd because though I had the excuse of never being in one place long enough to start a relationship he had a stable life, was good looking and really for him to be alone was a strange concept. So one day I brought up the matter and he confirmed my thoughts I couldn't help but ask why.

"Because though I've had my fair share of partners none of them could work out when I could never forget about you," was his reply and one that caught me by surprise.

I tried to open my mouth to formulate some sort of reply but I couldn't, especially when Johan pressed his lips to mine. My brain short circuited for a bit and all I could think was that the feel of his lips of mine not only felt pretty good but right as well. Before he could move away and take my lack of doing anything as a form of rejection I cupped his cheek and deepened the kiss with everything I had. My direction in life that may have been foggy had become as clear as day.

99) Indestructible- Disturbed **(Johan)**

Being a super hero and one who was virtually impossible to hurt lead me and most to believe that I was pretty much indestructible, I guess Judai didn't get the memo. He was a part of the original three, Ryou, him and I, and he was my best friend. Ryou had left for College a while back, dealing with his own issues and leaving us behind (I think it was cause we cramped his style) so then for a while is was just Judai and I.

Later others joined us and for some reason they kept on commenting to each other that we were like the heart of the team (super hearing). In a way it was true, we were the bestest of buddies, always around each other. It wasn't until we were both mature enough to realise that we acted exactly like a couple that we became one. Our relationship was secret from the others… at least it was until that fateful day. We were fighting Nemesis (his name fit really well) and Judai was shot. Unlike the rest of us Judai relied on gadgets, still human to the utmost degree. In my anger let's say Nemesis is now no more.

I spent hours in hospital by Judai's side, only half a person, that's when the others guessed. When Judai woke up I couldn't have been happier but then he told me he couldn't feel his legs, the way he said it broke my heart. Guilt racked my soul, telling me I should have done something, anything. Judai offered, when we found out he was never getting feeling back, to let me leave so he wouldn't be a burden of me. That was it, that was the point that made me truly crack and burst into tears, in that moment Judai who had been through some much was comforting me. After everything we had done together, every hardship I was not going to leave him behind.

100) Home- Dream Theatre **(Judai)**

The definition for a home was a place where someone lived but that is only the clinical definition for it; a home is something more than that. To me a home was where one belongs, where a person's loved ones were and a place to take refuge after the day had taken it out of you. A home was a place to live and to make memories, a place where the good memories outweighed the bad.

When I was a child I didn't really have a home, my parents often left me behind and let the neighbours babysit me, when I applied for Duel Academy a boarding school in the middle of the sea I knew deep down that they wouldn't miss me. It's strange I guess that school, a place often dubbed as a jail had so easily became my home to me, my first home.

Once I left DA it had taken me a while to gather my bearings and find my new home and it turned out that it was with Johan. In truth it wouldn't matter where we were because a building would never be my home but the blunette I loved dearly would always be it. Everyone can appreciate having a home but in a way since I didn't have it as a child a just couldn't take it for granted and had to make sure that Johan knew that his home was always with me too.

**I'd just like to thank everyone who has read and enjoyed these.  
>-JA**


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